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Wait, Weight WAIT!

 Everyone gains weight.  It doesn’t matter your body type, your blood type, ethnicity or gender, you’re going to gain weight; just you wait!

 Although, here’s one of the things that bothers me. 

 People who have been portly all their lives can handle going from a size 10 to 12, etc.  However, when they hear people who are under the size 10 declare that they are gaining weight, instantly they think those peeps are either insane or anorexic.

Anorexia is an obsession and a disease.

Weight should not be stereotyped based on an individual’s size.

Thin people get chastised for saying they’re now a size 6 or 8 and need to lose weight.

But wait – there’s more.

The crux of it is this:  no matter what size you are a 2, 4, 5, 10, 13, 14, etc., we all gain weight, and while people may not consider someone who is a size 2 gaining weight and now wearing a size 4 or 6, it’s still gaining weight.

Everyone needs to realize that WE ALL gain weight and should not criticize others because they see themselves as becoming uncomfortable in their waistline; and need to lose pounds. 

Scientist have found that if there are no variation in a person’s health, and coupled with exercise, people will still gain weight as they age, it’s just the way of life.  As humans, we all age and our metabolism slows down, therefore, we will gain weight.  It’s about the human metabolism.

So the next time, before any of us open our mouths to give someone grief when they start announcing that they are gaining weight, just stop — wait a minute — think about it.  We all gain weight at any point and time in our lives — it is inherent.


Valentine’s Day Lesson?

Some of you have read my piece on Valentine’s Day and in my opinion it’s just a commerical holiday.

Well my fiancé and I, earlier in our relationship talked about Valentine’s Day. We both agreed that it was another holiday geared to suck the monies out of the populace. Perfecto! I love him!

What I did not realize, is that although we felt the same about the financial rape on our pockets, he might enjoy celebrating V.D.

This morning was when it all occurred.

I walked into the kitchen to finish my coffee and he was drinking his smoothie. As I stood in front of him he said “Happy Valentine’s Day,” and leaned over and gave me a kiss. I returned the sentiment and realized, I never gave him a chance to tell me about his feelings on V.D.

It is possible that he might enjoy V.D. and I stifled his celebration of the day and possibly preventing myself from enjoying all sorts of wonderful deeds?

Truly, my feeling remains the same, Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday which celebrates the pockets of the card makers, chocolate factories, jewelry exchange shops and restaurants. However, ladies and gents, please give your sweetie the opportunity to voice their opinions on the different holidays because you might be gypping yourself out of a wonderful day with your gal or guy!

A Mother’s Love

Did you want to kick his ass?

That black boy for being so crass?

He found himself over the line.

I think he was looking to shine.

Look at the gold in his teeth.

It’s easier to kiss his feet!

Juicy juice was all over him.

They wiped the coke off that rim.

Who do you think caused him this pain?

It was a person who was insane.

Sounds like his mother; she’s a looker.

Yeah, but sometimes she could be a pressure cooker!

Well, she had class and style.

Oh, what a beautiful smile!

It’s sad to see her in handcuffs because of her son.

She said she’d kick his ass for trying to run.

It‘s a sad story all around.

At least we’ll be a town on the rebound!

Fear – a personal note

It’s winter and a beautiful brisk morning. I stroll down the street enjoying the feel of the wintery breeze and the Sun’s warmth on my face. I cannot wait for Spring this year; I am antsier than ever this time. I feel that I’ve been held captive by Winter, he just won’t let me go.

Music feeds me every morning on my way to work, keeps me at peace, however, not this morning. Putting the iPod on shuffle, I am greeted by Crosby Stills Nash and Young, Prince pops in to say hey, Stevie Nicks tells me about a young love, and it is Sarah McLachlan that brings me to tears.

A not so popular song of hers, however a favorite, Fear spills into my ears. Never before had I ever associated it with anyone in my life. On this morning, one of my greatest friend’s face flashes into my mind as Sarah sings:

Morning smiles
Like the face of a newborn child
Innocent unknowing
Winter’s end
Promises of a long lost friend
Speaks to me of comfort

His smiling face and beautiful eyes shine as if he is standing in front of me. Part of my brain hopes I’m having a telekinetic moment.

I have three wonderful female friends that I would not trade for the world, yet he is the one who holds my soul.

As friends, we drank, talked, and enjoyed each other’s companionship when needed until late hours of the evening and wee hours of the morn. At a time, I am sure that we both could not believe our luck in finding someone as comforting and easy to talk to – each other. Our friendship developed through many other relationships, but we held tight.

A friend like him comes every blue moon. He indulged the science of my mind and spoke to me of dragonflies and Reinhardt. We talked of Descartes, Nietzsche and Miles. Did you know that Nietzsche was born the same day as I? I created a recipe and when I told him about it, at 11:00 p.m. we went food shopping for the ingredients – thanks for showing me the workings of phyllo dough.

I told him of my plans for building a bat house, possibly renting part to Section 8 bats, who could ever understand more, as he continued to pander to the madness of me and bat guano thoughts, while engulfing me in his laughter; never once trying to stifle me with reality. I miss hearing what you are wearing…

They say temptation will destroy our love
The never ending hunger

But I fear
I have nothing to give
I have so much to lose

Winter’s end
Promises of a long lost friend
Speaks to me of comfort

I am patiently awaiting Winter’s end and the promises of a long lost friend – my friend.

In life, we all have to make choices we dread. However, those choices define us (how cliché). Sometimes, we believe it is the right one but in our souls, we are uncomfortable with it. Choices that we make can either keep us up at night; make us a little uncomfortable during the day, eventually putting our minds and hearts at ease; but was it the right decision?

It’s like a bra. It seems like a good solid choice, although the straps may be too flimsy, or the cup size a little too big or small, but it’s just uncomfortable. You search and search for the best fit, and then there it is the perfect bra. It seems a little strange, not too bothersome, but feeling different. You can’t put your finger on it, but it is making you wonder, hmmm, is this right? You continue to feel it on your body, and finally realizing, after much trepidation, it’s the right choice!

We can feel we know who we are, and while our choices make us feel like we are second-guessing, it may always seem a little strange, a little uncomfortable in our heart of hearts, yet we know that eventually it was the right decision.

Valentine’s Day – yeah!

For as long as I can remember, people have celebrated Valentine’s Day (I’m not that old).

A day and way in which to show appreciation of your loved ones, by purchasing trinkets, candy, flowers and cards filled with someone else’s poetry.

Why do we need a commercial day to demonstrate our love for each other?

Is it possible that both men and women use this particular day to make up for all the screw-ups made during the year? Then, if that is, the case, it should be renamed “Forgiveness Day.”

I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day, partially due to a teacher in 5th grade, Mrs. Rubenstein, who while making us draw and cut out hearts to paste on a card for our crushes and parents, informed us of St. Valentine, and a day created by companies to make money, mainly the card-companies. Did I really have enough sense to understand what she was saying? No, but for some reason, it all stuck with me.

When I got my first real boyfriend, he bought me a cute gold heart on a chain — I still have it. I did not buy him anything – he seemed to be ok with it. The men that I dated through my lifetime could not believe that I do not celebrate it. One man I lived with for six years, when we first started dating, couldn’t believe I didn’t want to go to the fancy sushi restaurant he had made reservations for – a month in advance. My preference was to stay at his apartment and cook dinner, drink wine and listen to Miles Davis and Coltrane at the Newport Jazz Fest. The years to follow, we continued our tradition of not doing a damn thing for Valentine’s Day! Very nicely!

What are the origins of Valentine’s Day? Well there are many legends as to its origins. One particular (courtesy of the History Channel – a fav) legend was about Valentine who was a priest during the third century in Rome.

The Emperor Claudius II, felt single men made better soldiers than married men because they had no families, he outlawed marriage for young men (bastard). Valentine, started performing secret marriages for young lovers, and eventually was caught by Claudius, and was sentenced to death.

Apparently, Valentine himself was the first person to send a ‘valentine.’ While in prison, he fell in love with a young girl — who visited him while he awaited his death. He wrote her a letter that was signed, ‘From your Valentine.’

Valentine – death – 1929 Valentine’s Day Massacre comes to mind.

I know I sound harsh, but I am still trying to convert my niece into realizing it is not the end-all day of love.

I’ve witnessed so many of my friends who were/are single that this day tore them apart. It made them disheartened because they had no one. Yet, when they were dating and the person did not treat them well, all was forgiven on Valentine’s Day. When in reality, they should be concerned, why are they not being treated great everyday, are they only worth one day of love – that is something to think about – wrong guy/gal! Forgiveness Day sounding better?

Personally, I love LOVE – and enjoy it to the fullest, but I want the person I am with, to show me love all the time! Every hour of our waking moments — the hugs, the kisses, making love, and the respect — instead of giving it to me on one day, to make up for all the other days it was lacking.

Would that not be a better way of showing you love me?

About a year or more ago, a person of interest in my life said that iPods created total isolation amongst the common folk on the train. No one makes eye contact or smiles at you; conversation between strangers are nil. I often wanted to burst his bubble and say “it’s New York dude, New Yorkers enjoy their private time on the train before hitting the rat-race – move back to PA!”


While his observation may somewhat be true in his eyes, let’s put a positive spin on it.

The iPods or any other M3-player was created for personal use – the owner could listen to their own taste in music without interrupting other passengers, people, what have you – or so we hoped.

With the noise of the iron horse running on its track, the clanking and gushing of the wind against the car makes it hard to hear the music, so what do people do when they can’t hear the music – turn it up! Now it’s for everybody’s listening pleasure.

However, while the loudness of the music from the iPod is somewhat distorted, sometimes you can hear perfectly clear, depending on your proximity to the user, and you will venture into a new music world. The rhythm of salsero Jose Alberto “El Canario” to the acoustic rendition of John Mayer’s Back to You, to the vibrant sounds of Miles and Coltrane or the bluesy voice of Janis Joplin coupled with a little Scheherazade (Rimsky-Korsakov), the wailing of Robert Plant, or catching the cool sounds of Michael Nappi (, but whatever sound that is being projected through those little ear plugs, it employs others to wish for an iPod or I can’t believe I forgot mine home!

Most importantly the music sends triggers that suggest that we need to get some Miles, Nappi or Plant on our personal players for further enjoyment and let’s mix it up with a little Celia and a bit of the Dead (no pun intended).

Yes, the iPod can seem like a dome of silence, but quite frankly it can also, depending on the volume, open up new doors to great music adventures that we haven’t thought about – it’s like walking into a mobile record store. Enjoy it!

life had a line, mine would be crooked. (May 2010)

No, it’s not what you think! It is short.

Recently things have been so topsy-turvy in my life I needed a break.

The only break I seem to get is when I’m writing.

Sometimes it’s just nice to be able to breathe and writing, whether good or bad is an outlet.

Work, while I have a job, is somewhat stressing, you never know who the next group of people will entail when the proverbial pink slip is handed down. Friends, acquaintances, whoever, may be even me.

The love of my life is going through stuff, and as the person I am – there is nothing I can pull out of my magic bag to alleviate his plate – yes the little sexy baby-doll helps, but how many times can one do that? Shush!

In addition, to his stuff, I’ve got my own stuff that I bring to the relationship as well – I’ve worn the school girl skirt out too – it’s now looking tattered!

Sometimes, I imagine myself walking down the hall at work on my hands (no not with the skirt on!) – it seems it would be so enlightening. I haven’t been to yoga in months, so I don’t even know if I could do the Bakasana (crow-pose), how can I walk on my hands?

In life, usually we view it as if one area of our lives is faltering, the other is calm and it keeps us balanced. Yes, the Libra in me is looking for the balance and it’s not happening.

So I needed a quickie! Or may be I need a quickie!

Fly away little bird, fly away to a far and wonderful place than here;

make haste and fly to where the flowers sway in the wind, and the butterflies kiss the sky;

make haste my little bird, before you are caged in this world!